Photo By: Erin Fitts-Brower

We can’t change people. We can only love them. We can only show them Christ-like character and pray for them; knowing that God can change hearts. Though the rest is up to them. I have had my heart hurt over the years by people that are still on their journey on how to be kind and how to properly love. I learned to forgive, be kind and love them anyway; while establishing boundaries on where these people stand in my life. I have found through the act of forgiving, as God has called, I can better be my best self. I have also learned that boundaries allow for healing and further protection from those that mean to do harm. It is hard at times when we encounter people in our lives that are mean, selfish or ungodly. Though we mustn’t let their meanness, make us cruel. I know that if I did not walk with God, it would be difficult for me to forgive, to heal, and to fully love. Even if by loving it means just forgiving, letting that person go with grace and praying for them. Friend, not everyone has our hearts, and there are people that can make forgiving and loving difficult. It is so important that we ask God to help us. For we too have had to be forgiven and we too have been loved and even died for, when we are ourselves didn’t deserve it. Some people do things that are easier to forgive, because no one is perfect. Though I have some people in my life that I just root for from a distance, some I keep them at arm’s length, while others, I had to completely sever ties with. Sometimes we have to for safety, health and spiritual growth. I think there is a lot of confusion in what it means to forgive and love. Some believe that forgiveness means the person who hurt us won’t be held accountable and so resentment needs to remain. Though forgiveness is releasing the bitterness and giving it to God. In doing so, allowing peace for us and so we can move forward without hate in our hearts. Also, when we forgive someone, it doesn’t mean they should necessarily continue to be a part of our lives. That’s something that we need to spend time with God, on what is most appropriate. Loving everyone, even people that seem unlovable, sometimes just looks like forgiveness and prayer. We can’t make people be the people that they should be. Though how we handle them with grace, boundaries, and with godly character does open the door for changes where God can work on their hearts. Friend, may we choose a Christ-like love, to everyone we encounter. For life is more peaceful when we love the way that God has called us to.

Erin Fitts-Brower

Forgiveness & love

Proverbs 4:23 NIV

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Romans 12:18 NIV

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Colossians 3:13 NIV

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32 NIV

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.