When I was a little girl my grandpa and I put together a few model cars. We also used to go to the park together and he would just watch me get all my energy out and laugh. I remember when I would misbehave, grandma would tell him to discipline me. However, instead he would just ask me to behave and did not get after me very harshly. Being as I did not want to get grandpa in trouble with grandma for being so lenient, I would just start behaving as though he had actually disciplined me. I was very spoiled by my grandpa and as my grandma put it, “grandpas’ girl.” I remember playing board games with him and I am not sure who let who win. I took trips with my grandparents and spent a lot of time at their house. When he was moved into a nursing home, even as his mind faded; he always knew me. I miss him a lot. I miss his laughter and his smile. At the time before his passing, I lived some distance away and did not visit him as much as I would have liked. The last words I ever said to him was I will come back soon. The last words he said to me was that he hopes I do. I remember leaving him through the doors from the nursing home. He was sitting in his wheelchair, right by the doors, watching me leave. That memory will always remain. I think back and I wish I would have told him I love him one more time. Hugged him one more time. Really told him how much he meant to me and the memories we made. I know he knew, but I will always want to tell him again. I look at my oldest son and he has a look of my grandpa, I am glad for that. I know that someday I will see him again and I won’t have to say goodbye to him. The next time it will be hello and then forever.

  Life is fragile and precious. As we build memories with loved ones, may we keep building them until we cannot. May we always try to show up and be fully present. Making sure that the other person knows their value in our life. When God blesses us with loved ones, may we really cherish them. I maybe did not get to see my grandpa one more time. But I look forward to seeing him again and not having to say goodbye. May we fully love each other. Offering time, our attention, our care, our joy, our laughter; building memories that last a lifetime. As I write this, I am a moment older and I hear my family in the other room and I want to be there too. Cherishing them, spending time with them and loving them. For I am getting older and so are they.  May we live a life with loved ones built on memories of stories to hold onto. Ones in which to grasp until our forever above. Friend, let’s show up, be present and love hard! Just as God always does for us.

Erin Fitts-Brower

John 15:12 NIV

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.